I'm Bad at Laundry or Whatever

I’m going to be 100% transparent: I don’t know how to do laundry.

Okay, that’s not entirely accurate. I know the theory of how to do laundry, but I'm just too lazy to do it correctly. I know that you’re supposed to separate things and wash them in different temperatures and whatnot but I don’t actually follow those rules. I kind of just dump whatever I can fit into the machine and wash them in the “cold tap” setting because I heard that was more environmentally friendly than using hot water. Then I hang dry whatever piece I really like or don’t want to shrink and toss everything else into the dryer. In my mind, whatever gets ruined by accidentally letting it slip into the dryer I can either fix or I wasn’t supposed to have it in the first place. But usually I can fix it.

The following pieces of clothing are all things I have shrunk and fixed in real life by these methods.

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My sweater shrank and is too short!

Start by wetting your sweater with warm water and ringing it dry.

Turn your sweater upside down, grabbing both the front and back of the hem.

Step one foot in, placing your heel at the neck with your toes in the sleeve.

Do the same with the other foot, making sure you're covering the shoulder areas completely.

Gently, or not so gently, pull on the bottom hem making sure to pull equally on all sides. Repeat until satisfied. Hang to dry.

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This shirt shrank and is too tight!

Start by wetting your shirt with warm water and ringing until damp.

Put the shirt over your head. Crisscross your arms and push outward while rounding your back.

Bring your arms to your side while grabbing the bottom hem. Stretch your arms as far as they can go, making sure to get the back of the shirt as well.

Starting from the top, use your fists to stretch out the front. You'll feel like an unborn baby trying to claw your way out. Do this until your satisfied. Hang to dry.

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This dress is practically a shirt now!

This is definitely one of the more unconventional methods I’ve used, but trust me, it’s worked before and it’ll work again. This is a dress that I’ve accidentally "ruined" multiple times.

Start by getting the dress wet with warm water. Hang from your shower curtain rod with a stable hanger.

Get a pants hanger with clamps and fold in the sides of the dress halfway and clamp.

Fold the other side in the same way and clamp. Make sure you have as much fabric as possible clamped in.

Find something heavy, but not too heavy (I use my Chacos) and use them to gently stretch the dress.

Leave the dress hanging for as long as you need. You might need to re-wet it if it needs to hang longer than overnight.

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Oh man, these pants are like three sizes too small and I have to go to brunch!

This only works on cotton pants. I don't know how to fix jeans. When I figure it out though I'll update this.

If you need to you can wet your pants in warm water and ring dry, but usually I don't have the time.

Put them on and stick your arms in the leg holes and push your arms up as hard as possible.

Keeping your arms in there and pressing up, squat down. You'll feel ridiculous and I'm sorry. Hang dry or leave for brunch

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